my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I just gargled with NyQuil
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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