how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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