that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
and you fell through a lawn chair
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
