Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Operation Purity has been aborted
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Randomize
