please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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