Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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