A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
