all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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