Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
