Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
