Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
