please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
