he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
he fucked my hip out of place.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
