hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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