His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
tell me about the fingering
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