We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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