you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
