I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
This is the high leading the old right now
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
