At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
