Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
