Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
