you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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