THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize
