We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
True college students do jello shots in the library
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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