just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
