you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
