and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
