I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
where are my pants?
in the oven.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
