Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
