I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Randomize
