I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
