She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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