Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
