Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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