i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
