Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
