just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
