Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
