i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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