Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
