I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Randomize
