This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
only you would photoshop your dick
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
