Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
