I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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