Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
