You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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