If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
