Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
