You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
