nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
