I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
