I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
