dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Is it because I queefed?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
