This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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